Ants marching...

My cousin has a brain tumor.

It's wrapped around his auditory nerve, and he lost his hearing in his left ear.

He's an evangelist.

He's a singer.

It sucks.

He doesn't deserve that.

They don't think it's cancer, and he's having surgery in a week.

My brother's 12 year old daughter is autistic.

His family just visited us for the holidays for the first time in...I don't even remember how long...because her behavior was too bad for them to travel with her.

He and his wife have been pushed to every emotional, psychological, and physical ledge, that a person could imagine. And some that you couldn't even fathom.

It's not fair.

He doesn't deserve that.

When Joey died, I liked to tell myself that there was some lesson to be learned. That it happened for a reason. I used to find comfort in that. Comforted by the idea of a greater good...a higher purpose...a destiny.

However, standing at this point in my life...having had a few more life experiences...I don't think that's true anymore.

I hear people say all the time..."It's God's will." Or, "God has a plan."

Bullshit...

Applying that theory to my cousin, and my brother's life...and even my own...that would make God cruel. To cause, or allow the suffering of one person, to teach a lesson to another? WTF?

The more I think about God...the more I tend to agree that he is just a kid with an ant farm.

I actually find this thought much more comforting.

Thanksgiving numbers...

- 5 day weekend

- 6 photo shoots

- 4,000 pictures taken

- 3 days spent with my brother and his family

- 30 enchiladas cooked

- 2 birthday parties with the in-laws

- 1 nasty cold

- 150 dollars saved on Black Friday

- 10 houseguests

- 2 boxes of wine

- 24 bottles of beer

- and only 25 days left until Christmas

WOW!

Sneak peek...

I have been so busy taking pictures for other people's Christmas cards...that I almost forgot about our Christmas cards.

We're still making final touches.

In honor of Awkward Family Photos everywhere...Merry Christmas, Dammit!!

Conversations in the car...

Jack and I were alone in the car. Christmas music was on the radio. I was dying a little inside...

Jack: Mom. I love Christmas songs. You 'member that one about the girl farting on Santa...then, Santa farts when he's leaving presents under the tree? That song is hilarious!

Me: Son, farts are funny, I don't care who ya are!

*We laugh. A sure fire way to bond with your boy, is to talk about farts together*

Jack: Hey, Mom. Is Santa real?

*Oh my dear sweet Jesus!! This is the moment I've been waiting for. Finally, I can put an end to these reindeer games!*

Me: Hmmmmm...I am really glad you asked that question. What do you think?

Jack: I think he's real.

*Fuck! I thought this was my moment...DAMMIT!*

Jack: No...wait.

*YES!! Hope!!*

Jack: He's not real. No way. He can't be real. A fat man can't fit down the chimney. It doesn't make sense.

*OMG...it's over. All the stress. All the sneaking. All the lies. It's over!!*

Me: You're a smart kid. So, if Santa isn't real, then, who do you think leaves those presents under the tree?

*Please say Mom and Dad...Please say Mom and Dad...PLEEEEEEASE SAY MOM AND DAD!!!*

Jack: Midgets. I don't believe in Santa...but, I do believe in midgets.

Me: What?! Midgets?! Seriously?!

Jack: Yeah, Mom, it's the only thing that makes sense.

*SHOOT ME NOW!!! Limited by the logical capabilities of THIS CHILD...he's never gonna figure it out, and I'm gonna have to pretend to be Santa FOREVER!!!*

Consolation...

Thanks to the guilt trip the encouragement of a few of you guys...we have a new rat in the house. A welcomed guest. One we did not greet with gunfire!

My mom couldn't stand it, and in the middle of dinner on Friday night, she brought over a new rat, identical to Marly. Just a newer model. I mean, like, literally, in the MIDDLE of dinner. Lily opened the box, and the new girl jumped into her nachos.

She was home!

Losing Marly was a bit traumatic for Lily. Trauma that was possibly compounded by her bonehead brother.

The other day, when I told Lily to come into our room. That we needed to talk to her. The little brother followed. He could tell I was a bit somber, and I could tell that he thought she was in trouble. He was humming, and skipping, and bouncing...elated that her ass was on the chopping block, and not his!

There wasn't an easy way to tell her. I just said it. "Lil. I'm sorry, sweetie, but, I went to check on Marly, and she died."

I'd never seen tears appear that fast. In a second, she was bawling, but, managed to mutter, "Awwwwwwww...mom...I miss MarMar," as she fell into my lap.

I held her, and rocked her. Jake talked to her in his voice that is reserved for his baby girl...and no one else.

Jack was watching the whole thing. Wide-eyed and worried. He has a tender heart, and didn't like seeing his sister so upset. He approached her, not knowing what to say, but, knowing he should say something.

Finally, in the softest, sweetest voice he could serve, he said, "Awwwww, Sister. It's okay. Dad's gonna die, too."

Note to self: WTF?!? Teach the boy that a simple 'I'm sorry' is all that is needed for the recently bereaved!

Lucky for Lily, she tunes her brothers out completely, and I don't think she even heard him.

Jake did however, and has a checkup scheduled with the doctor for tomorrow!

I heart faces...

Click the button to see the entries this week!
I took pictures of a childhood friend of mine, and her family this weekend. It was such a fun shoot...her boys are RIDICULOUSLY beautiful!

I was soooooo excited when I saw that this week's challenge was "Autumn Beauty"! I snapped this pic while Dad was keeping Creed entertained in between poses. Well, when I say 'poses,' I mean as much posing as you can do with little ones.

I loved this pic, and a few dry, brittle, beautifully colored leaves on the ground, is about as much "autumn beauty" as we get here in my neck of the woods!!

Have a good week, y'all!

Outlook...

If things are looking bleak and dreary...

Wait just a little while...things will change!


These two photos were taken about an hour apart, in my neighborhood!